April 29th, on which I tell you the tale of Bob the Zombie (Part 3 of 4)
So my BEDA Buddies Rebecca,Chelsea and Jordan decided we should make a SEKRIT PROJECT to celebrate the end of BEDA (I was asleep during all of the discussions about this project =P ). And they/we decided we were going to write a story together, with each of us writing one installment.
The first installment was written by Rebecca and can be found here
The second installment was written by Chelsea and can be found here
The Third Installment was written by me and can be read on this very page!
The Fourth Installment will be written by Jordan and I will post a link here as soon as he is done.
So there they were, 2 people (well, it depends on how you define people, but for the sake of the story we'll allow zombies to be people) roaming the planet in search of this illustrious Zelda. Bob was enjoying the ability to shamble once again and the FUC tried his best to get him to move more quickly (because zombies tend to not move very fast, especially not the ones with sticks for legs). They tried to trace Zelda's steps, but that was proving much harder than they had thought.
They passed through small villages and always asked the only zombie in the village if they had heard of Zelda. Some had heard rumours, but never anything concrete. So usually they just killed a few Living People, at their BRAAAAINS moved on to the next village.
"Moohuigeiuwbskvbfej?" sighed Bob after a few weeks of shambling, which is Zombiespeak for "I can't take this much longer, how far do we have to travel before we find Zelda?".
To which the FUC replied: "Mogihwuiewuvveuevuoierw!, which is Zombiespeak for "As far as it takes! I am not giving up! We were separated for 8 years before, I will not let that happen again!"
"Moiebieveiuvefuevuyui!!" Bob almost yelled at the FUC, which means "But dude! She and I made sweet sweet love, it doesn't seem she's even remotely interested in you anymore!" in Zombiespeak.
"hRTxfomfgxtrxwtxewucikebeku!?" the FUC screamed out, which in Zombiespeaks means "She did what!?! OMFG! I'm going to kill that fucking bitch when we find her!".
So with a new found purpose Bob and the FUC continued their search for Zelda. Their journey took them through many weird places and they had many adventures together (too many to tell here, but one involved a ring and a volcano). Because they spent quite a lot of time together Bob and the FUC got to know each other quite well. They discovered they shared a love for pickled BRAAAINS (which are a rare delicacy in Zombieworld). Bob found himself developing strange feelings for the FUC he had never felt for another male zombie before. First he wondered whether it was caused by someone he had recently eaten (they hád recently been to Mexico), but the feeling didn't go away.
Bob was confused even more than usual. What should he do? Should he tell the Fuc, should he try to win his heart by giving him lots of BRAAAINS? The FUC started noticing Bob's weird behaviour (Bob even ate vegetables!) and asked him "MOGvuegviurbvrbgrbok?" which is Zombiespeak for "Are you ok? You have been acting a bit weird lately."
Bob looked panicked, but eventually calmed down enough to respond "Miehoegedjdbfihkkdbdbkjfufufk", which is Zombiespeak for "I'm not sure how to say this, but I think I'm in love with you..". The FUC raised his one remaining eyebrow and was silent for a few minutes. Then he said "Miehbuieeysjvdhjddgshuyawctudawegfifvsefik", which is Zombiespeak for "I love you too", after which they hugged and kissed (they didn't even try to eat each other's faces, that's how much they loved each other).
After some sweet days of lovemaking they continued their search for Zelda. Now they wanted to kill her for keeping them away from gay love as well. But because in the rural areas gay love is not accepted amongst their fellow zombies, Bob and The Puc decided to move to a big city.
So they left for NYC. It took quite a bit of shambling for them to get there, but it was worth it. They had a great time sneaking (well, more like barging really) into the audience of Broadway shows and scare the shit out of the Living (and eating a few BRAAAINS of course). One night they went to a Zombie bar (which was conveniently located next to a morgue) and there they ran into a few of Bob's former friends. Now Bob could have been angry at them for eating his legs, but love had mellowed Bob. So Bob and the FUC asked them if they knew where Zelda was (even though the NY lifestyle was great, it was no substitute for the BRAAAINY taste of revenge). One of the zombies happened to know that she had managed to sneak aboard a plane to Europe and was in Holland now. "Geejgeusyfsvjuxdfyf" asked the FUC, which is Zombiespeak for "I think you mean the Netherlands, because Holland is not the same as the Netherlands", for the FUC might have been undead, but he was not stupid
The first installment was written by Rebecca and can be found here
The second installment was written by Chelsea and can be found here
The Third Installment was written by me and can be read on this very page!
The Fourth Installment will be written by Jordan and I will post a link here as soon as he is done.
So there they were, 2 people (well, it depends on how you define people, but for the sake of the story we'll allow zombies to be people) roaming the planet in search of this illustrious Zelda. Bob was enjoying the ability to shamble once again and the FUC tried his best to get him to move more quickly (because zombies tend to not move very fast, especially not the ones with sticks for legs). They tried to trace Zelda's steps, but that was proving much harder than they had thought.
They passed through small villages and always asked the only zombie in the village if they had heard of Zelda. Some had heard rumours, but never anything concrete. So usually they just killed a few Living People, at their BRAAAAINS moved on to the next village.
"Moohuigeiuwbskvbfej?" sighed Bob after a few weeks of shambling, which is Zombiespeak for "I can't take this much longer, how far do we have to travel before we find Zelda?".
To which the FUC replied: "Mogihwuiewuvveuevuoierw!, which is Zombiespeak for "As far as it takes! I am not giving up! We were separated for 8 years before, I will not let that happen again!"
"Moiebieveiuvefuevuyui!!" Bob almost yelled at the FUC, which means "But dude! She and I made sweet sweet love, it doesn't seem she's even remotely interested in you anymore!" in Zombiespeak.
"hRTxfomfgxtrxwtxewucikebeku!?" the FUC screamed out, which in Zombiespeaks means "She did what!?! OMFG! I'm going to kill that fucking bitch when we find her!".
So with a new found purpose Bob and the FUC continued their search for Zelda. Their journey took them through many weird places and they had many adventures together (too many to tell here, but one involved a ring and a volcano). Because they spent quite a lot of time together Bob and the FUC got to know each other quite well. They discovered they shared a love for pickled BRAAAINS (which are a rare delicacy in Zombieworld). Bob found himself developing strange feelings for the FUC he had never felt for another male zombie before. First he wondered whether it was caused by someone he had recently eaten (they hád recently been to Mexico), but the feeling didn't go away.
Bob was confused even more than usual. What should he do? Should he tell the Fuc, should he try to win his heart by giving him lots of BRAAAINS? The FUC started noticing Bob's weird behaviour (Bob even ate vegetables!) and asked him "MOGvuegviurbvrbgrbok?" which is Zombiespeak for "Are you ok? You have been acting a bit weird lately."
Bob looked panicked, but eventually calmed down enough to respond "Miehoegedjdbfihkkdbdbkjfufufk", which is Zombiespeak for "I'm not sure how to say this, but I think I'm in love with you..". The FUC raised his one remaining eyebrow and was silent for a few minutes. Then he said "Miehbuieeysjvdhjddgshuyawctudawegfifvsefik", which is Zombiespeak for "I love you too", after which they hugged and kissed (they didn't even try to eat each other's faces, that's how much they loved each other).
After some sweet days of lovemaking they continued their search for Zelda. Now they wanted to kill her for keeping them away from gay love as well. But because in the rural areas gay love is not accepted amongst their fellow zombies, Bob and The Puc decided to move to a big city.
So they left for NYC. It took quite a bit of shambling for them to get there, but it was worth it. They had a great time sneaking (well, more like barging really) into the audience of Broadway shows and scare the shit out of the Living (and eating a few BRAAAINS of course). One night they went to a Zombie bar (which was conveniently located next to a morgue) and there they ran into a few of Bob's former friends. Now Bob could have been angry at them for eating his legs, but love had mellowed Bob. So Bob and the FUC asked them if they knew where Zelda was (even though the NY lifestyle was great, it was no substitute for the BRAAAINY taste of revenge). One of the zombies happened to know that she had managed to sneak aboard a plane to Europe and was in Holland now. "Geejgeusyfsvjuxdfyf" asked the FUC, which is Zombiespeak for "I think you mean the Netherlands, because Holland is not the same as the Netherlands", for the FUC might have been undead, but he was not stupid
Comment
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Comment by Rebecca on April 29, 2009 at 7:37pm - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Comment by Jordan Cwierz on April 29, 2009 at 6:34pm - I couldn't agree with Chelsea more. NICE ENDING.
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Comment by SupernovakGirl on April 29, 2009 at 6:28pm -
They took the zombies to Isengardgardgardgardgard.
The last line is the best line that has ever been written. EVER.
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